Where to Start: Imposter Syndrome
I used to constantly feel like a fraud, like I was going to be found out. I downplayed my accomplishments and was always on edge feeling like someone was going to figure out that I wasn’t actually as good as I said I was. As a result, I would overwork to the point of burnout or self-sabotage my success by leaving a job before I had enough time to establish myself.
It turns out that there is a name for this and it tends to affect high-achieving professionals the most, who are seemingly really successful.
Imposter Syndrome isn’t actually a diagnostic classification but rather a group of thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that cluster together to create this syndrome and have a significant impact on your emotional functioning. It can feed feelings of anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, and frustration due to the thoughts and behaviors that result.
I always just assumed that something was “wrong with me” when Imposter Syndrome would creep in. But what I learned was that the self doubt you feel, need to overachieve, perfectionist tendencies, procrastination, and comparing yourself to others actually comes from your childhood experiences that created beliefs of unworthiness.
Family dynamics, including the messages communicated to you about your abilities, lead to the development of Imposter Syndrome.
So to work on Imposter Syndrome, it’s really important to identify your own origin story - meaning where does your Imposter Syndrome come from and how does it affect you?
Did it start in high school? College? After you graduated? It may have also been earlier, like when you were a young child. Understanding your history and the causes of a negative pattern can help you identify your triggers and stop the pattern for good.
Common family and development factors that can lead to the development of Imposter Syndrome, include:
You were told that you had natural gifts and talent that didn’t require effort.
You are considered the social/emotionally competent one.
Academic or professional achievement was highly valued in your family.
Anger and conflict were present and not well managed in your family.
You grew up in a household where communication and your behavior had strict rules you were required to follow
Your individual, unique, and complex experiences were not supported
There was a high need to please others in the family
There was a high need to control impulses OR low need to control impulses.
You had codependent family dynamics
You grew up with a narcissistic caregiver
These factors can also be the foundation of your triggers. Understanding and identifying your triggers can help you become more aware of how impostor syndrome might influence you so you can begin to respond proactively to neutralize it.
Do any of these resonate with you or are any of these surprising to you? I used to think that the patterning I wanted to change all had to come from difficult experiences and thought it was interesting how that isn’t the case when it comes to Imposter Syndrome (ie the first 3 bullets).
How to Move Through Imposter Syndrome
Building awareness around how it affects you
Be with your feelings rather than trying to make them go away using somatic (mind-body) techniques like EFT to enable your nervous system to relax so you can more easily be with challenging feelings.
Somatic tools, such as EFT, are a fast path to shifting out of Imposter Syndrome. Why? Because our life experiences are stored in our minds AND our bodies, and our body doesn’t lie to us like our mind does.
Using EFT, we can interrupt dysfunctional old neural pathways and facilitate the creation of new ones. This increases our neuroplasticity and results in a changed life experience aka no longer feeling controlled by self doubt and instead feeling confident and secure in our abilities.
This work has changed my life and it has inspired and guided me to obtain the training and expertise to facilitate change in the lives of others.
If you feel plagued by Imposter Syndrome and are ready to let go of the self doubt, perfectionism, procrastination, and overachieving tendencies then let’s chat!
